"Welcome To The New Age"

If the overwhelming theme of my 2015 was "Let It Go", then it is becoming abundantly clear to me that 2016 is going to be about moving forward.

The thing about letting go, is that often it is too tempting to let it ALL go. It is not a surprise to those who know me that I have battled the desire, throughout a difficult and dark 2015, to walk way. Actually, run away.

I tried once last year to really leave everything behind. Fortunately, I had a few (a lot) of friends who wouldn't let me, and one friend who saw me try to sneak away, and fought for me.

Some days I still want to run. Run far away. Not ever look back. But really, I just want to move on.

In the midst of my challenging year, I don't have to look far to find so very much to be grateful for, and it is in these incredible blessings that I will find both my reason and my strength to move forward.

I have added so many new and incredible relationships to my life through my new job.

I am finding ways to gather my people back into my life, as I have stepped back from some relationships that fed my happiness and joy in order to adapt to so much change. I need my people, and I know they understand, and will be waiting. Hold on tight, girls! I'm coming back.

This will be, the last "Find Your CORE" blog. Not because I am letting it go, but because I am moving on. COREfitness and Wellness also will be dissolved. This is part of my past, and I am beyond grateful for it, for feeding my children and bringing me some of the most wonderful people ever.

I am still planning on teaching, and in fact expanding, my current fitness classes and personal training, and this is a priority for me, because moving forward means doing what I love.
I will be blogging, but in a different direction, and I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I will enjoy writing it. Annie's Hope, my dreamchild foundation for Mental Health for youth, is going to be a real thing. It must. It is needed, and it is my calling to make big things happen there.

So that's the bare bones of my plan to move forward. To continue to let go, whilst gathering all the tools I need to move ahead and change the world. Because I know I am meant to do big things. I am not good at anything, but I am determined, and I recognize that I am unstoppable. It's time I proved it.

All this is not going to happen tomorrow. The last year has taught me to be patient and realistic with myself, and I want to enjoy the process again. Bit by bit, we rebuild, stronger and better than before. I recognize what a fantastic opportunity this is, and intend to make good on it.

To my darling Katie - you always tell me the absolute truth. When I am laying on the kitchen floor, it is your voice I hear yelling at me to get the fuck up, and then whispering gently, because I love you. And because you are worth it.

To my SharkL our runs have changed my life. Thank you for listening. And not being gentle with me. And for your always laugh worthy occasion cards and healing lemon loaf.

To my Lil'Kim - for understanding. And for making me laugh. And for giving me the nickname, "slutpig" which I wear with pride. Never settle - our motto for life.

To Sue - it started with a run, and will never end. Thank you for noticing me, and feeding me, and seeing that I need you in my life.

To all of my darling people, CORE and otherwise: I never let you go, but I had to step away. Thank you for being right there as I step back in. Kinda like you had the confidence in me all along. Which is kinda the best feeling ever.

To all of the dear lovely people I have met in my crazy last year, many of whom I will line up to run with at the Goodlife Marathon on Sunday: Thank you for the acceptance.It is an honour to share my favourite activity with so many truly wonderful human beings. Thank you for making me feel welcome, and a valued part of our community. I don't know where I would be without you all. Our motto at the Whitby Running Room is "a place and a pace for everyone". With humility, I finally accept that that even includes a place for me, and I am grateful.

So let's raise a glass (or since it's morning, maybe a mug?) to moving forward. I can't quite believe that it's time, but man am I excited!
Cheers! And FIND YOUR CORE

"All You Need Is Love"

As the American writer Richard Bach said,

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are."

That right there is some LOVELY sentiment.

It's St.Valentines' Day, the time for romantic love and grand gestures of flowers, champagne, chocolates, diamonds.....whatever. As my friend Alex shared in her brilliant blog: I Don't Blog (yes - check her out she's amazing and my inspiration for all things) all men really want for Valentines' Day is a blow job. I can find little evidence that disputes this so I won't argue it.

I'm a sucker for love. And I always thought I had found my soulmate. Until I stepped out to be completely and honestly who I am.

I'm a sucker for romance. I have had the grandest gestures surprise me, but the most memorable are the simple, thoughtful things that tell me that the giver knows, completely and honestly, who I am.

I love romantic movies, especially classics and fairy tales, where true love wins out and happily ever after is the order of the day.

Who among us is immune to the lure of being loved so completely, so truthfully, so purely, that we feel safe enough to pursue our dreams and live our lives confidently, honestly and with the utmost belief in ourselves and our worth.

Why, though, do we outsource this all important job of soulmate to another imperfect being?
In other words, why do we not empower ourselves, when we alone hold that precious key that unlocks our own self worth.

No one completes you. You have every single tool dwelling within you to be what you want, achieve what you want and live how you want. You even have every ounce of bravery required to be wholly and truthfully you. You. You have it all.

As you go through life you will find all manner of connections with people.

If you are lucky you will love someone so deeply that their name is always on the tip of your tongue and their face is the most beautiful sight you will ever see.
If you are lucky you will love someone so deeply that you feel completely and utterly lost without them in your life, or even at the very thought.
If you are lucky you will love someone so deeply that the thought of even a single trouble crossing their path makes you want to move mountains to change that.
If you are lucky you will love someone so much that your heart grows 5 times its size when you see them.
If you are lucky you will love someone so much that you want them to succeed, to win, to achieve, to be recognized as the best and you want this more for them than you ever would for yourself.
If you are lucky you will love someone so completely flawed and fucked up that you realize how normal it is to be flawed and fucked up.


If you are really lucky you will be loved in return, and accepted as wholly who you are. No matter what that may be.

This is not romantic love, this is real love. These and so many other facets of love can be fulfilled by one or many people, family, friends, lovers, husbands, wives.....it doesn't matter. Love is love. And it is your reflection and starting point for building a relationship for yourself with your real soulmate. YOU.

Look in the mirror.

Love that face.

Look in your heart.

Love that too.

Bring YOU to your own attention so that YOU can change your life.

Show yourself everything that holds you back.

Forgive yourself for being imperfect. Praise yourself for being brave.

Complete yourself. Hold your own keys. Be confident and be free.

Love yourself in a way that frees you to be everything you wish to be.

Then go and change the world. Or whatever makes you happy.

Being loved is important. But being love is everything.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to get my pint of ice cream and pint of Guiness and send anti-Valentine's Day messages to all those who done me wrong.

I may be evolved, but I'm still a work in progress, after all.

Find Your CORE